After the Peak

Welmer has a nice post up on the Spearhead today about the pretty, pretty lie that we let women tell that their sexual peak is in their mid 30s. His basic point – that women actually reach their peak in their youth, just as men do – is, I think, pretty biologically sound. I think it’s also pretty clear that what we identify as a “sexual peak” is, in fact, women trying to make the most of their last years of fertility. Whether it’s for sexual power, as Welmer claims, or a last attempt to squeeze as much reproductive success as possible in the final days (or, in my opinion, both), it’s clear that what is going on here is not exactly what is claimed by the “sexual peak” advocates.

I do, however, want to point out something important. Welmer goes on to make the following statement:

The point is that without sexual viability, the power of most women in this culture is reduced to whatever is afforded by rote chivalry. And while that chivalry affords them a great deal of latitude, if doesn’t provide them with the meaningful significance of a younger woman who still turns heads- and can have babies.

Sadly, I think this has largely become true in our modern culture. But I do not think it’s universally or even biologically true. In a healthy, functional society there are very important roles for women to play after they’ve advanced to a more or less infertile age. The obvious ones are mother (continuing to raise the last few children born) and grandmother. But in many cultures there is a certain level of worldly wisdom that a woman of that age carries that younger women don’t. You can still see remnants of it in today’s culture, although it’s fading. As with so much else, it’s strongest in religious groups, but it’s still visible in other places. The wise, matriarchal grandmother figure that guides an extended family as it grows is a powerful figure in art, literature, and real life.

In the optimal case, a woman goes through profound personal growth during the early years of child rearing and establishing a family, such that by the time menopause comes around and brings its inevitable infertility she has found some other form of power and/or value to bring to society.

As a culture, we now deemphasize this aspect of growth and instead put our emphasis on trying to stay young forever and have it all. The value of these roles has been devalued by our culture in precisely the same ways, for precisely the same reasons, and by precisely the same people as the value of beta provider males. It’s also having a very similar negative effect on our society.