Home > Alpha, Beta > Trading for Sexual Favors

Trading for Sexual Favors

Trading work for sexual favors is generally considered a beta trait and rightly so. It sends several not so subtle messages that kill attraction. It reinforces a perception by both parties that sex is a reward for good behavior rather than a normal part of the relationship. It puts sexual control (and hence relationship control) firmly in the hands of the woman. It’s submissive: yes dear, I’ll do what you want.

Like most rules, however, there is an exception. Trading work for sexual behaviors can be neutral if one of the following conditions is met and can even border on alpha if both of the following are met.

  • The trade must be playful and teasing. This non-verbally acknowledges that it’s not actually a trade, it’s just a game. The trade then becomes a kind of foreplay.
  • The trade must be for something you could’ve been talked into doing anyway, and both parties must realize that. Again, this frame reinforces that it’s not really a trade at all. It’s just playful banter to get ready for the main event.

You have to be careful about playing this game too much, however, because then the woman will start to push for more. She’ll try and push for it to go beyond the game and into the actual trade territory again, which you must not let it become.

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Categories: Alpha, Beta
  1. Anonymous
    April 6, 2011 at 8:44 am | #1

    My girlfriend’s pretty smart, so in our relationship the fact that I’m her intellectual superior is a BIG alpha trait (one of the few that come to me naturally).

    I’ve helped her with her coursework on a couple of occasions for sexual favours and you’re absolutely right that the frame is important. Firstly, I’m doing with ease something that she has very recently been struggling with (turns out mastery of computers *can* be a DHV :P). Secondly, I tease her mercilessly afterwards about how much of a slut she is for renting out her body for good grades. Thirdly, without going into an ungentlemanly amount of detail, it’s important that it be a sexual favour, and not just sex.

  2. Dan in Philly
    April 6, 2011 at 10:47 am | #2

    I brought up an article where some wuss was paying for sex through housework with the wifey. She fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. “What a great idea! We should put that into practice around here!”

    I pretended to consider for a while. Finally I nodded “OK, I’m game. Every time I change a diaper you owe me 10 nights of sex. Every time I take out the trash, 5 nights…” She rolled her eyes and laughed. Potential S-test, pre-empted and turned into an alpha moment. Life is good.

  3. April 6, 2011 at 6:19 pm | #3

    In the middle of all this playing, change what you want to a non-sexual thing, like a sandwich.

    Women become completely engaged with you if you establish a sandwich is a greater reward to you than a blowjob. Remember to keep the boyish smile going though! Tease her.

  4. OK With Trading for Sex
    November 20, 2011 at 11:47 pm | #5

    My wife and I started this about 5 months ago. Prior to our arrangement, we’d have sex at most once a week, and it was almost always the same. Needless to say, I hadn’t had a BJ in about 3 years.

    Now that we’ve started the bartering, I tend to get oral before sex at least a few times per week and sex at least 3 times a week, most weeks.

    At the end of the day, if both of you are OK with it and it’s not affecting how you feel about each other, then go for it. Most importantly, always remember that it’s a means to an end and the she’s still your wife and never a prostitute.

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