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The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011

The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011

The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011

Taking the Red Pill is a life changing event. Discovering The Misandry Bubble, and from it Roissy, Keoni, The Spearhead and others has directly changed not just how I look at the world but how I interact with it. My relationship with my wife is different. My relationship with my son is different. My relationship with my church, my school, my coworkers and my community are all different. All of these sites contributed. But none of them contributed as much as Athol Kay.

When I first started this blog a year ago, the manosphere was a different place than it is today. There was the Pick Up element, fronted by the likes of Roosh and Roissy, focused on hedonism and getting laid. There’s the “fiddle while Rome burns” community, ie In Mala Fide. There’s the MRA community, best represented by The Spearhead. There’s the MGTOW community.

Athol’s site was different. It wasn’t about hedonism. It wasn’t about The Decline. It wasn’t a bitchfest about how poorly men have been treated. Unlike Roissy who offered great advice about how to pick up a new woman every week, Athol was there to tell us how to make things work with the one we already had and loved. Unlike Ferdinand who was happy to detail the decline of civilization, Athol was there to tell us that maybe our families could still be OK – and here’s how. Unlike the Spearhead with its tales of divorce rape and more, Athol was there to tell us how to avoid that fate.

Don’t get me wrong. All of those sites serve important functions. I believe that the issues they raise and discuss are very real and have a very real impact on our lives. But I’m going to be honest. I’m not much of one for living the hedonistic life while civilization falls apart around me. Yet I also don’t know if I’m up for the task of saving the world. Some days I don’t even know if I care to. But I can save my own family -and I want to – and Athol played a huge role in showing me how.

In the time since I found it, Athol’s little corner of the manosphere seems to have grown. It seems to me that there’s now a small but significant community focused not just on married men and sex (some are not married and some are women) but on taking the dangerous knowledge of Game, the knowledge of what’s happening in the world around us and trying to make something constructive out of it – even if that “something constructive” is only self improvement or making our families a little bit happier. Call us the optimists, maybe. Whatever we are, I think Athol has been a major force that’s brought us together. Not the only voice, to be sure, but an important one.

So… the book. If you’re a long time reader of Athol’s blog, there won’t be much here that’s new to you. But what he has done is something much more important. He’s provided the content in a clear format that’s perfect for introducing to the average married guy (or his wife). Unlike the blog, it’s ordered and structured and follows a nice, logical progression. Somebody completely unfamiliar with the words Game, Alpha, Beta, SMV, DLV, DHV, etc can pick this book up and understand it. This isn’t a book about banging supermodels or movie stars. It’s not a book about being a Navy SEAL or a CEO. But it is a book about getting more sex out of your wife and being a better husband for her. And along the way she might just start treating you better and looking hotter, too.

The tone of the book, like that of the blog, is perfect for reaching Athol’s target audience: regular, everyday guys. Athol never adopts an antagonistic stance towards women, even when he’s describing their worst behaviors. Likewise, he manages to describe those behaviors in non-insulting ways. The result is that its average Joe male readers don’t have to live in fear of their wives blowing a gasket over them reading it. At the same time, Athol strikes a very good balance of honesty, directness and humor without getting excessively graphic. That makes his book very accessible to the everyman who might need things really spelled out for him every now and then, but probably isn’t really looking for a porn book. This is a book that a wife could buy for her husband, a woman could buy for her brother, or a mother could buy for her son. It’s also a book that a man might buy for his father, brother, or son – or his friends. Riding that line is a difficult balancing act, but Athol has pulled it off splendidly.

It is completely fair to say that Athol’s blog has helped transform my marriage. I live too far away to realistically buy him a beer as the Man Code demands, so I’ll be blunt: I’d have spent $20 on a book of blank pages if he’d put it out with this title. In my book, he’s already earned that. But for the men who haven’t been reading his blog, this book is worth the cover price and then some. I can all but guarantee that I’ll be providing copies of it to friends at some point. Well done, Athol.

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Categories: Reviews
  1. April 15, 2011 at 12:30 pm | #1

    Well said, man. Athol Kay is pretty much my favorite Game writer because he doesn’t feel compelled to hate on women or treat them like pieces of sh*t. (Maybe I’m still too beta, but I just can’t bring myself to hate women for being women.) Athol isn’t antagonistic, and is primarily focused on figuring out what works. And really, that’s all you need. It also helps that his approach is within the framework of traditional values. I don’t hate PUAs, but I have no desire to live their lifestyle. I’d rather be married.

    Also, thanks for the linkage.

  2. Paige
    April 15, 2011 at 12:50 pm | #2

    His non-antagonistic tone is one of his biggest selling points. He can communicate hard truths without also implying that you were a sucker to get married and should prostrate yourself on the altar of proper manhood and beg for forgiveness.

  3. Keoni Galt
    April 15, 2011 at 4:12 pm | #3

    Thanks for the linkage. Glad to see at least some of my writings has been of some help to somebody.

  4. Keoni Galt
    April 15, 2011 at 4:14 pm | #4

    I’m planning on ordering this book from Amazon at my next payday.

  5. April 15, 2011 at 5:05 pm | #5

    Thanks for the link love and review Leonidas, very much appreciated.

    I’m glad to have helped you guys!

    Will send you a review copy if you want one Keoni.

  6. detinennui32
    April 18, 2011 at 2:40 pm | #6

    AK is doing the Lord’s work here and in the book. Fact is, we don’t do enough game on our wives. We take each other for granted, and we don’t do the work it takes to keep ourselves in top physical and mental shape.

    I’ve had quite a red pill moment in the last two months. When I met my wife 17 years ago I was 26 and she was 30. She was one of the most physically attractive women I’d ever met, she kept herself in great physical condition, and she had overcome some issues. I was getting my career going and making good money. After dating for a year, she told me she thought I was going to ask her to get married and was disappointed I did not ask. I had not thought about getting married. After all, things were OK, the sex was flowing, so why get married? But I was in a job I hated too, and did not want to lose the one thing that was going right in my life.

    The writing was on the wall: Ring on the finger and right soon, or I’m outta here. So a few months later I asked and a year after that we were married. We’ve been married almost 15 years. We’ve had our problems but are managing and getting better.

    Anyone want to guess where this is going?

    I was lesser beta. I had only a few serious girlfriends before. I always “had” to have a girlfriends so the sex would flow. Never let go of the last one until the next is locked in. My wife, on the other hand, by her own admission had been a carousel rider all through her 20s. We thought we were marrying for love.

    Truth: I got married because the sex needed to flow, I’m not the best looking guy around, she gave me great girlfriend sex, and hey, she’s probably the best I can do. Now we’re married, so I get sex when I want, and I’m done working for it, risking rejection and putting myself out there for it. Right?

    Truth: She married me because I had a good job, she was in a job she really didn’t like and was looking for a provider, she had been burned one too many times on the carousel, and most important, she wanted kids and her biological clock was roaring like a freight train. So she agreed to marry me, the beta who happened to ask her for a lunch date a year before.

    It’s not easy to write this, but it’s the truth. She’s never put it quite like that, but she has said as much. And so have I. When we married, it was mostly because we each believed we had few or no other options.

    And over the years, I’ve heard many times from her that she wanted me to stand up for myself, to lead her, to not say things like “what do you want to do” for dates, and not to let myself go physically. And she couldn’t explain why she felt this way, or believed this way, but she just did. The truth? She wants a more alpha male, one who can and will lead her and stand up to her.

    It’s not until we’re honest with ourselves that we can then begin to change. I’ve had to do it. AK’s blog and book is a great start.

    I’d be interested to hear from others.

  7. James O Oduor
    August 2, 2011 at 7:45 am | #7

    I’ve read a few articles and i think i may like the book.How can i get the book?.How much is it?.I live in Kenya.

  8. August 2, 2011 at 6:25 pm | #8

    Here’s the links James.

    Buy The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011!
    $9.99 PDF at Lulu.com  $9.99 Kindle and $17.09 Print at Amazon.com
    (Costs about as much as 3-5 minutes of a divorce lawyer’s hourly fee. A bargain!)

  9. August 18, 2011 at 1:24 pm | #9

    I’m happy for you :) Not all men are meant to be alphas in the highest sense of the word, but every man should have SOME alpha qualities, like assertiveness, confidence, and dominance of their given sphere. It’s how they were designed to be.

  1. April 16, 2011 at 2:20 pm | #1

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