The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011
Taking the Red Pill is a life changing event. Discovering The Misandry Bubble, and from it Roissy, Keoni, The Spearhead and others has directly changed not just how I look at the world but how I interact with it. My relationship with my wife is different. My relationship with my son is different. My relationship with my church, my school, my coworkers and my community are all different. All of these sites contributed. But none of them contributed as much as Athol Kay.
When I first started this blog a year ago, the manosphere was a different place than it is today. There was the Pick Up element, fronted by the likes of Roosh and Roissy, focused on hedonism and getting laid. There’s the “fiddle while Rome burns” community, ie In Mala Fide. There’s the MRA community, best represented by The Spearhead. There’s the MGTOW community.
Athol’s site was different. It wasn’t about hedonism. It wasn’t about The Decline. It wasn’t a bitchfest about how poorly men have been treated. Unlike Roissy who offered great advice about how to pick up a new woman every week, Athol was there to tell us how to make things work with the one we already had and loved. Unlike Ferdinand who was happy to detail the decline of civilization, Athol was there to tell us that maybe our families could still be OK – and here’s how. Unlike the Spearhead with its tales of divorce rape and more, Athol was there to tell us how to avoid that fate.
Don’t get me wrong. All of those sites serve important functions. I believe that the issues they raise and discuss are very real and have a very real impact on our lives. But I’m going to be honest. I’m not much of one for living the hedonistic life while civilization falls apart around me. Yet I also don’t know if I’m up for the task of saving the world. Some days I don’t even know if I care to. But I can save my own family -and I want to – and Athol played a huge role in showing me how.
In the time since I found it, Athol’s little corner of the manosphere seems to have grown. It seems to me that there’s now a small but significant community focused not just on married men and sex (some are not married and some are women) but on taking the dangerous knowledge of Game, the knowledge of what’s happening in the world around us and trying to make something constructive out of it – even if that “something constructive” is only self improvement or making our families a little bit happier. Call us the optimists, maybe. Whatever we are, I think Athol has been a major force that’s brought us together. Not the only voice, to be sure, but an important one.
So… the book. If you’re a long time reader of Athol’s blog, there won’t be much here that’s new to you. But what he has done is something much more important. He’s provided the content in a clear format that’s perfect for introducing to the average married guy (or his wife). Unlike the blog, it’s ordered and structured and follows a nice, logical progression. Somebody completely unfamiliar with the words Game, Alpha, Beta, SMV, DLV, DHV, etc can pick this book up and understand it. This isn’t a book about banging supermodels or movie stars. It’s not a book about being a Navy SEAL or a CEO. But it is a book about getting more sex out of your wife and being a better husband for her. And along the way she might just start treating you better and looking hotter, too.
The tone of the book, like that of the blog, is perfect for reaching Athol’s target audience: regular, everyday guys. Athol never adopts an antagonistic stance towards women, even when he’s describing their worst behaviors. Likewise, he manages to describe those behaviors in non-insulting ways. The result is that its average Joe male readers don’t have to live in fear of their wives blowing a gasket over them reading it. At the same time, Athol strikes a very good balance of honesty, directness and humor without getting excessively graphic. That makes his book very accessible to the everyman who might need things really spelled out for him every now and then, but probably isn’t really looking for a porn book. This is a book that a wife could buy for her husband, a woman could buy for her brother, or a mother could buy for her son. It’s also a book that a man might buy for his father, brother, or son – or his friends. Riding that line is a difficult balancing act, but Athol has pulled it off splendidly.
It is completely fair to say that Athol’s blog has helped transform my marriage. I live too far away to realistically buy him a beer as the Man Code demands, so I’ll be blunt: I’d have spent $20 on a book of blank pages if he’d put it out with this title. In my book, he’s already earned that. But for the men who haven’t been reading his blog, this book is worth the cover price and then some. I can all but guarantee that I’ll be providing copies of it to friends at some point. Well done, Athol.