Weekend Humor

 

Shamelessly stolen from Failblog because it’s oh so appropriate to the Game community.

My First Hater

…is obviously someone who doesn’t read my site a whole lot:

“There are some men out there who genuinely like women with short hair. Some of them aren’t pedophiles and a few are even heterosexual.”

What the fuck is it with you PUAs and your compulsive need to constantly shove your personal preferences down everybody else’s throats (usually with a heavy dose of shaming language)? Do you people just lie awake at night fuming at all the men who dare to prefer different women than you do? Go see a psychiatrist you fucking weirdos.

So are you a pedophile or just homosexual?

[Maybe I should be careful since he's proven that he obviously can't take a joke... Nah, where's the fun in that?]

Shit Test ACED

I really wish I liked country music. I like the homier, more down to earth feel of the Nashville crowd. I like that it’s a lot more family friendly. I like the values. I like the image. Even if the image is just as fake as the Hollywood image, I still like it better. I just have very little taste for the musical style. I’m a hard rock/metal guy myself. Still, this song is the perfect example of acing a shit test.

Via Raise Your Glass.

Rite of Election

One of the things about the Catholic church that I like is its heavy use of ritual. It’s ridiculed a lot for that, especially from protestants (who despite their ridicule, and largely dropping the rituals originally, are now adding them back) and by SWPL types who mock the irrationality of it all. Yes, it’s irrational. So are human beings. Our psyches have a deep rooted need for ritual, and modern society is sorely lacking in them.

One part of the process of converting to Catholicism (or going through confirmation if you were born Catholic) is called the Rite of Election. Basically, you go to a ceremony in front of the local Bishop that’s almost but not quite like Mass (there is no communion, for example) and everybody who is going to be baptized and/or confirmed formally goes up and adds their names to the book, which is then presented to the Bishop, etc. Very Roman, very Catholic, very ritualistic.

Typically it’s done on the first weekend of Lent, so we had it done for us yesterday. And here I go, walking up in front of everybody. I get to the baptismal font, dip my fingers in the water, do the cross sign, and turn to shake hands with the Bishop.

That’s when I realized my fly was down.

Thankfully, my shirt had it concealed. I shook his hand and smiled, made my mark in the book, turned and walked back to my seat and sat down. After the whole ceremony was done I managed to find a clear spot in the hall and quickly zip it up, with nobody the wiser. Even my wife wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t told her later.

The moral? Sometimes the right solution is just to play it off like nothing whatsoever is wrong. Oh, and shaking the bishops hand with your fly down is both very amusing and very embarrassing.

Man Up

Is there really anything in your life that requires balls like these guys have?

Didn’t think so.

More Fun From Google Search Strings

It’s that time again. That’s right – time for more fun from the Google referral strings. As I’ve mentioned before, if you talk about sex at all in your blog, you get some good ones. But I’ve started accumulating some non-sex related good ones, too. Here are some recent search strings that turned up this blog.

• trying to get my wife into gaming (sorry man, wrong blog)
• just marridge fuck (learn to spell)
• muslim more wifes graph dropping (what the heck does that mean?)
• traditional catholicsim wordpress arrogance alte (now we know what Google thinks of Alte)
• my brother’s wife is a bitch (yeah, she kinda is)
• shag my wife for me (send pics please)
• giving up gaming for lent (unless you mean gambling, give up something that’s actually sinful, man)
• giving up masterbation for lent 2011
• giving up masturbaion for lent
• i want to give up masterbation for lent, how!?
• giving up masturbation for lent
• giving up masturbation lent
• masturbation+lent
• if you give up masturbation for lent. can someone do it for you? (kinky question, I like it)
• do i have to give up masterbation lent
• about a dozen other variants on the above theme… I stopped listing them all

Um… wow, the post on giving up masturbation for lent was pretty popular.